Going down

As an aside to a conversation on Messenger, I went off and typed “cunnilingus” into Amazon’s site search. They have three books and one dvd listed that are specifically about it-

The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure

From one of the reader reviews-

My girlfriend was blown away just hours after I read this book. A lot of the techniques contained in this book will make your performance well above the average man.

My only complaint is that the material in this book is available to other men as well!

The Master’s Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Perform Successful Oral Sex and Provide the Highest Degree of Pleasure Possible

A bit of a cumbersome title, but it gets 5 stars from its reader reviews.

Box Lunch: The Layperson’s Guide to Cunnilingus

More from the lesbian perspective, but possibly of use to us men.

Nina Hartley RN Guide to Cunnilingus

A Region 1 dvd that isn’t available at the moment.

Maybe I should add them to my wish list.

Pride 2007

Pride 2007, originally uploaded by spinneyhead.

Maybe I should demand that the cameraman in the next Spinneyhead production looks like this. Check out the Pride 2007 set on Flickr for many more photos.


This is the campest film I’ve seen in a while. It manages to hide a coming out tale in a spoof on Charlie’s Angels, Buffy and the like. Whilst there are few laugh out loud moments I did watch it with a smile. And it has an excellent soundtrack to boot.

DEBS are recruited from the ranks of America’s students. Special hidden questions on the SATs pinpoint young women with the skills- lying, violence, intelligence- suitable for a career in spying. They are trained at a campus populated with hot women in short plaid skirts with holographs everywhere and some sort of teleport system.

The film doesn’t quite work at first. It takes the appearance of sexy supervillainess Lucy Diamond to get into its stride. Still pining after being heartbroken she keeps itching to sink Australia as revenge. Her planned meet with a Russian assassin (who would much rather be a dancer) is actually a blind date.

A DEB team stakes out the date, along with Homeland Security, CIA, FBI and Interpol. But top student Amy has other things on her mind- she’d rather go to an art college in Barcelona and her ex-boyfriend is getting obsessive. Everything goes wrong and Amy finds herself in a stand-off with Lucy, where they start flirting.

So begins Amy’s journey of self discovery. At first denying her attraction it takes her kidnapping by the smitten Lucy for her to accept her feelings. However friends and duty get in the way and Amy has to make a choice between her new lover and everything she’s been training for.

The film is based upon a 2003 short of the same name by the same writer/director. Where do I find a copy of that, I wonder?

Update What a silly question. I can find it on YouTube, of course.

And Part Two is here.

The big gay animal kingdom

Homosexual behaviour has been recorded in over 450 vertebrate species. Joan Roughgarden, a professor of biology at Stanford University, believes this shows that same sex relationships are important evolutionary attributes and has written Evolutions Rainbow – Gender & Sexuality in Nature to highlight this.

Giraffes have all-male orgies. So do bottlenose dolphins, killer whales, gray whales, and West Indian manatees. Japanese macaques, on the other hand, are ardent lesbians; the females enthusiastically mount each other. Bonobos, one of our closest primate relatives, are similar, except that their lesbian sexual encounters occur every two hours. Male bonobos engage in “penis fencing,” which leads, surprisingly enough, to ejaculation. They also give each other genital massages.

As this list of activities suggests, having homosexual sex is the biological equivalent of apple pie: Everybody likes it. At last count, over 450 different vertebrate species could be beheaded in Saudi Arabia. You name it, there’s a vertebrate out there that does it. Nevertheless, most biologists continue to regard homosexuality as a sexual outlier. According to evolutionary theory, being gay is little more than a maladaptive behavior.

via BoingBoing

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A trip into the Daily-Mailiverse

Just a few Daily Mail stories from the last few days.

Holy diversity! Look what’s happened to Batwoman

Holy sad comics news story cliche number one!

The new Batwoman is to be a “buxom socialite” lesbian and (Gasp! Choke!) comics in general are becoming a bit less white.

(Wikipedia’s Batwoman page)

Harry Potter heroine ‘encourages violence in girls’

I haven’t read the books, but I have seen the films and Hermione is portrayed as a geek most of the time. So why isn’t there a shocking rise in girls studying as a result? I think someone has a book to sell.

Professor James Garbarino, author of the book, See Jane Hit: Why Girls Are Growing More Violent and What We Can Do About it

There’s a surprise.

(Harry Potter stuff on Amazon)

Farmer who builds gallows accused of profiting from death

So it would be okay if he did it for charity? From that offended headline they managed to twist the story round to suggest the return of capital punishment mightn’t be so bad, especially for child murderers.

Brown’s billions are ‘sovietising’ the north

Wythenshawe just looks like a gulag, okay. I know, let’s privatise everything.

Downloads of Net porn hit record high

More than nine million men – almost 40 per cent of the adult male population – logged on to sex websites last year, more than four times as many as the estimated two million in 2000.

The number of women downloading Internet porn soared 30 per cent to 1.4million.

So more women are looking at porn but, somehow, it’s only the men who have “unrealistic” expectations because of what they see? Is Britain a country of hot studs with big dicks and perfect six packs?

And no, dear Daily Mail reporter, adult pornography does not lead to child porn addiction.

Why won’t internet bosses stamp out web porn?

Or, rather, “Why won’t they do what we tell them to do?”

Old graves may be used for double burials

The idea involves reopening untended graves more than 75 years old and transferring the remains to a smaller container, which would be buried deeper in the same plot.

Another coffin could then be lowered into the original space.

Why does Ken Loach loathe his country so much?

Because of people like you?

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Creative-Commons Marriage

I found this article so mind numbingly stupid that I just had to have a go at tearing it apart. I’m not the biggest expert on the copyright fight, so I’ll Fisk it my way and then open it up to the better informed.

It’s dilution, stupid!

Posted: May 8, 2004

1:00 a.m. Eastern

� 2004 WorldNetDaily.com

I’m going to assume (or pretend) that reprinting the article with my notes falls under Fair Use.

That’s the answer. So what’s the question?

The question is “If gays can get married, how does that destroy my marriage or yours? How does giving rights to one group take away rights from another group?”

The answer originates in the world of intellectual property, specifically trademark law. Dilution is the unauthorized use of a well-known mark that protects the distinctive quality of any word or symbol used for identification. Dilution takes two forms: blurring and tarnishment. Blurring causes the diluted mark to no longer uniquely identify its owner’s goods or services. Tarnishment diminishes the quality associated with the mark.

For example, if a burger joint called MacDonald’s opens using a large yellow “M” as a symbol � it dilutes the market for the well-known golden arches of McDonald’s. The use of the yellow letter “M” and the name MacDonald’s itself can blur the famous mark so that the golden arches of McDonald’s are no longer uniquely associated with the original product. Additionally, MacDonald’s can tarnish the famous mark by making second-rate burgers.

Aside– Wasn’t there a case a year or so ago where someone called McDonald was sued by Mickey D’s for use of ‘their’ copyright? Surely a name going back generations is a senior mark to some upstart burger chain and the clan McDonald should sue for tarnishment of their reputation through the sale of low quality, fat filled, unhealthy produce.

In this example where McDonald’s owns the senior mark and MacDonald’s owns the junior mark, MacDonald’s is diluting the distinctive quality of McDonald’s.

That is how giving rights to one group such as MacDonald’s takes away rights from another group such as McDonald’s. This principle, by way of analogy, is exactly how gay marriage destroys my marriage and yours.

There are at least six factors considered in a charge of dilution.

Similarity of the marks

Similarity of products using the marks

Sophistication of consumers in the targeted markets

Predatory intent

Renown of the senior mark

Renown of the junior mark

Consider how these six factors apply to traditional verses same-sex marriage where the “mark” is a marriage or marriage license.

1. Similarity of the marks: A fully legal marriage between couples of the same sex will be indistinguishable from the legal marriage between couples of the opposite sex.

So gay marriage will be marriage? There’s a problem with this? Surely the fact that a whole section of society will go through so much pain and endure such hateful idiocy as this so they can get married is a testament to the importance of the institution. The queers aren’t tarnishing the mark, dear, they’re polishing it.

2. Similarity of products using the marks: The product will be the legal union of two people receiving all the inherent rights and benefits of a legal marriage. Admittedly, those seeking a gay marriage are not competing for a limited number of licenses nor are they competing in the same market for a spouse. Nonetheless, according to trademark law, a junior mark may dilute if it attempts to use the notoriety of another’s name, even if it does not actually compete in its market.

Errrr, what? What’s the failure rate of heterosexual marriage here and in the US? I guess a high failure rate is a certain kind of notoriety.

3. Sophistication of consumers in the targeted markets: The consumer in this case is civilized society in America. No amount of sophistication will equip the consumer to distinguish a legal gay marriage from a traditional marriage. Legal differences will not exist.

See the answer to one with added- ‘You’re calling your readers stupid!?’ Civilised society, I assume, is supposedly the God fearing, gun toting White folk this woman thinks she’s writing for. She could be right, maybe they are stupid, but she shouldn’t rub it in their faces so.

4. Predatory Intent: Gay marriage is only one part of a long-term strategy by the gay and lesbian activist community to undermine the concept of marriage and the system of family that is based upon marriage. It is not about gay rights. It’s about the destruction of the fundamental idea of marriage as a social institution. It’s about dissolution of the traditional family unit, honoring thy father and mother, becoming of one flesh through procreation. It’s about destroying natural barriers to incest through ignorance of ones sibling relationships, rejecting sexual distinction and the order that flows and is premised upon those distinctions according to natural law.

Oh right. They’re subverting from within. Of course, the Pink Menace. Perhaps you and Ann Coulter could set up some sort of McCarthy style anti-homosexualist panel. I refer you to an article by Plaid Adder for a proper example of the undermining of the institution of marriage.

And that bit equating homosexuality to incest is just lazy, stupid and evil.

5. Renown of the senior mark: Marriage between a man and a woman is, in fact, the recognition of an institution that predates civil society, government and common law. By definition, a civil society comprises voluntary associations, organizations, movements and networks that live and work in the social space outside the state and the private sector. Marriage, therefore, is the very basis on which people come into our current civil society.

Marriage, and family, has meant a variety of things across the ages and cultures. I’ll have to ask someone else to find me the best examples, but more than a few were as successful as, or better than, the current Western mode.

6. Renown of the junior mark: While practice of the gay lifestyle has been around since the dawning of man, beginning May 17, for the first time in U.S. history, a state, Massachusetts, will begin granting marriage licenses to homosexuals with the full blessing of its highest court. Unlike the flurry of marriage licenses issued to gay couples in San Francisco and other cities across America, these marriages will be fully legal and may be accepted in others states.

Don’t you just hate it when those dirty poofs get the same rights as you. They probably shouldn’t have repealed segregation or given women the vote either.

Based on this analysis, gay marriage will undoubtedly dilute the distinctive quality of traditional marriage. It provides a one-word answer to the question, “What harm can gay marriage inflict on traditional marriage in America?” Worse, diluting this fundamental institution will inevitably lead to the dissolution of our existing civil society by destroying its inherent social structure.

Oooh, dissolution! So cool.

As you can see, I don’t know enough about the legal side of the copyright fight to tear this down. I’m far better at sarcasm. I think she can keep her copyrighted marriage anyway, I’ve made up a Creative Commons licence for marriage. Feel free to use it with anyone you love.

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Are they taking donations?

The Man Not Include New Life Centre in Bristol is being set up to provide fertility services specifically for lesbians and single women. Due to the way it is run it will get around the new donor rules and allow the fathers to maintain their anonymity.

I just had the vision of a FOAF or P2P style network for sperm donation- instead of Friendster let’s call it Wankster- where male volunteers enter all their characteristics on a database. A mum in waiting could then do a search on height, eye colour etc. and get back a list of results. The one(s) she chose would then get an order and could ship off the “product”. It’s sort of like file sharing, only with genes. Anonymity would be a tricky subject, unless the servers where the contact details are held were offshore somewhere.

Yes, before anyone puts it in the comments, I do need to get laid.

Heaven is a place on Earth

I was going to write about what I did on Monday night, but then I didn’t get home until some time after four and was a touch hungover yesterday (I was drinking only water until midnight, but then Stu and Chris turned up and started buying me beer.) And I forgot my camera and only had the phonecam.

Luckily, lots of other people were there with digital cameras and there are a lot of pictures. I’m in this one (in the background, but my ego won’t let it slip by and the picture is of Dave and Manda, official (I just anointed them) Friends of Spinneyhead), this one (how many chins?), this one (damn, the secret’s out), this one, the one above and this one where someone mis-labelled me as Al. You can call me Al, but I’ll sulk.

Observation- It’s really hard to mosh to ‘Ace of Spades’ whilst wearing bloody great plastic angel wings.

Quote of the night- “One day you’re Prince of Darkness will come.”


Entertainment last night was provided by a faux lesbian floorshow, of which I’m sure there are loads of pictures. It was certainly fun to watch, and I don’t know why I felt guilty to be looking when it was so obviously put on to get attention. I did get the feeling there was going to be a pop up telling me to enter my credit card number if I wanted to see more, and I bet the punchline to this cartoon applied to the pretty young things.

Nobody Knows I'm A Lesbian

I want a Nobody Knows I’m A Lesbian T-shirt, as available at Afflecks. (Actually, it’s not really a secret. I’ve always, and I hope no-one’s offended when I say this, but…. I’ve always been attracted to women. I mean, I must be a lesbian, right?)

Little Hedonist got one of these T-shirts and she had a hell of a night.

Everyone walking by is laughing. Or smiling. Or chuckling. Or talking. Or pointing. Some people do double-takes and/or accidentally trip down the street. It feels good to make people happy and amuse them. But at least they don’t know that I’m a lesbian. NOBODY KNOWS I’M A LESBIAN.

Potential lesbians at six o'clock!

We at Team Spinneyhead are big Willow/ Alyson Hannigan fans, as are so many others. Indeed, as possibly the highest profile lesbian on television, the character of Willow, and her relationships, gets quite a bit of analysis (includes spoilers for those of us who haven’t seen season 7 yet). There was even talk of a Willow based Buffy spin off, though the typically wussy TV execs were scared of a show that would portray dykes as rounded characters. Sigh.

Still, I guess we’ve got American Wedding to look forward to.