Sorry. (Not sorry.)
The author of the linked article did a meta study of research into animal (mostly primate) masturbation, and posited some theories on how it could have evolved as an aid to procreation and sexual health.
So onanism isn’t a sin. But expect the religious right to start protesting zoos if this gets enough coverage.
From sex toy shop Lovehoney- a, hopefully, tongue in cheek celebration of the upcoming royal wedding.
Issued to celebrate the forthcoming wedding of His Royal Highness Prince William of Wales to Catherine Elizabeth Middleton, this limited edition Commemorative Royal Wedding Ring is cast in a deep royal blue silicone and features a delightful raised motif reminiscent of crowns of regency past. Rejoice in a very special union of your own.
True craftsmanship is called for when a special moment is to be celebrated. Designed by professional artists, this expertly crafted regal love ring is a classic collectable to cherish.
Featuring a modern depiction of the Union Flag of the United Kingdom and an iconic image of the royal couple, this elegantly presented ring manages to be pleasurably patriotic as well as stylish.
Seize the opportunity to celebrate the much anticipated royal event of a generation with this exclusive and timeless piece of memorabilia.
This limited edition commemorative love ring can be yours, exclusively at Lovehoney.
Yes, a Wills and Kate monogrammed patriotic vibrating cock ring. Expect these to turn up in episodes of Car Booty in twenty years time and be ready to pity the person who still has a mint in box version.
Lovehoney also sell these very masculine masturbation aids–
How to collect elephant semen without the risk of putting your eye out.
via Pharyngula
It’s masturbation month in the US, where the loudest wankers probably don’t want you to wank.
Fleshbot has loads of details (NSFW).
Technorati tag: Masturbation, USA
sex and “romantic entanglements” could hinder and even endanger long duration space missions, according to a panel of US researchers. Earth based simulations of spaceship style living have ended in sexual harassment and brawls, though that may just have been the Russians playing up.
But he says sex may also benefit missions by creating “a sense of stability or normalisation”. Ellison agrees, saying sex or masturbation could help alleviate boredom and anxiety on the long, lonely journeys through space.
“It could help or hinder, depending on how many people you’ve got, their relationship, and what it means to them,” she told New Scientist.
Technorati tag: Space Travel, Sex
It’s National Masturbation Month (in the US, cue some joke about how the rest of the world aren’t such wankers). Fleshbot has details of events between now and the 28th.
Technorati tag: Masturbation
A Canadian man has been sentenced to four months in jail because his next door neighbour could see him masturbating in his living room. I think the British law is very similar, it’s indecency if anyone can see you.
Must…. pull…. down…. blinds.
The Sex Toy debate pops up all over, such as here– where they’re lamenting the lack of good toys for men and giving Spinneyhead a passing mention.
And why did no-one tell me it was National Masturbation Month? I would have…. erm…. I….. Oh, who am I kidding, I wouldn’t have had to do anything extra. I celebrate National Masturbation Month all year round.
I’ll get me coat……
Scouting for Boys, the original Boy Scout guidebook, is to be republished. This time it will include passages on the evils of masturbation cut from the original.
“You all know what it is to have at times a pleasant feeling in your private parts, and there comes an inclination to work it up with your hand or otherwise.
“Well, lots of fellows, from not knowing any better, please themselves in this way until it often becomes a sort of habit with them which they cannot get out of.
“The practice is called self abuse and the result is that the boy after time becomes weak and nervous and shy.”
Don’t forget to check out the Doonesbury masturbation strip.
This Sunday’s Doonesbury is about the recent news that masturbating is good for your prostate. 18 of 34 editors polled said they wouldn’t be running the strip because of its content. Just how cowardly do editors have to be these days?
Also just in- 70% of Texans prove they are just as moronic and narrowminded as you always knew they were.
Checking my referrer log, it seems spinneyhead is the only citation on popdex for Alyson Hannigan’s feet pics and pictures of girls masturbating. I guess there are worse phrases to be associated with- such as Fair and Balanced, and I know I should stop talking about them, but I can’t help myself.
It seems Spinneyhead is rapidly becoming a stopping off point for people with fetishes for celebrity feet. I’m now second on Google for Alyson Hannigan’s feet pics, but I’m also getting visits for katie holmes feet & toes.
I probably shouldn’t read too much into it, considering I was visited this morning by someone looking for kitten sack masturbate photo. And by talking about this sort of behaviour I’m just encouraging it. I should stop giving the perverts the oxygen of publicity.
Stone Roses, Fool’s Gold
Today’s Doonesbury sees blogger Zip trolling for hits. Terrible behaviour. You’d never see me mentioning Britney Spears topless or Cameron Diaz nude or that in amongst the search terms that have found Spinneyhead in the last few days have been pictures of girls masturbating, Alyson Hannigan’s feet pics and kylie’s bottom
No, no, no, no. That would be below me.
The BBC is running a story about masturbation. Apparently, it won’t make a man blind, but it will reduce the chances of getting prostate cancer. I am sure some members of Team Spinneyhead will be glad to hear this news. The full article is here.
And if you don’t feel guilty enough yet, use The Ejaculator to work out the shocking numbers.
So many kittens, so little time.
via biogeek
I enjoyed yesterday’s archeology I thought I’d go even further back. Luckily, May 23rd was the only day that week when I posted something. Remember kids- masturbation is a sin.
I think this could become a semi regular feature.
Apparently this weekend, a company called Good Vibrations are organising a Masturbate-A-Thon, raising money for an AIDS charity in San Francisco. (Good Vibrations is an online store selling sex-toys.)
I came (ahem) across this through one of my dodgier friends on line.
I can’t see Rag doing this one. No, let me rephrase that, I really don’t want to see Rag do this one.
Well I must admit that after a hard days work with my fellow union members building support for a new and improved Spinneyhead, we are all exhausted. Negotiations are due to resume on Monday, but it appears after the CEO’s consolatory post yesterday regarding a new colour schemes and fonts, progress is finally being made. The SUA will monitor closely to determine if this is just an attempt to stall website improvements, but given the honesty and general niceness of Ian P., we are inclined to believe this gesture could lead to long term improvements for readers and staff alike. We did stop asking for the $30k Jacuzzi with built in DVD, so we are doing our fair share as well.
In other news, I have managed to spend the day trawling through the bowels of the web looking at other Blog sites and the general depravation global computer linking has caused. I guess this will sum up how I wasted a perfectly good Saturday:
Myth: There are bigger problems than Masturbation, like drugs and AIDS.
Reality: Experts estimate that there are at least 150,000 Americans masturbating RIGHT NOW! Masturbation costs American businesses at least $3.14 billion in lost productivity every month!
Think about it, 3.14 billion daily. Just for the record, that statistic was brought to you by Americans for purity. After perusing all around the net and evaluating current trends in web design, I do believe the Spinneyhead management team are on the right track, but should look towards something like SourBob or even better, a website so full of good design and happiness, Katie is Good, cause she rocks and to me at least, represents all that is good about blogging.
During this quest for the “real” web, e.g. people that actually use it just to have a voice and not worry about hits, Portal of Evil proved invaluable. Man oh man, talk about the worst of the web and really there is no competition. I have been to midget hooker websites and the occasional gangsta white boy from mobile, Alabama. Please note, Mobile is an actual town in Alabama, and yes, the state is one big trailer park.
Now for something that is pissing me off something evil! What the f*ing hell is “emo”? As a teenager and young adult over in the early nineties we used to listen music called Indie and Punk. No labels, just some good old middle class white boys from the suburbs with some misplaced angst never meaning no harm. Well, well, my man over at Fourfa has gone as far to label seven types of “emo”, ranging from old school punk to the Smashing Pumpkins. The website even provides “emo” fashion tips, etc. My plea to the “emo” scene: Leave my f*ing Fugazi, Minor Threat, Longwave, Smashing Pumpkins and every other good guitar indy band well f*ing alone or there will be a big can of whoopass opened on your skeazy arses. Whoever was paid money to come iup with the term “emo” and then build a scene out of it should be shot. Scum. I am afraid to listen to my own downloads now. Twits.
Remember children, masturbating is a sin! And if you read too many web pages like this, you’ll go blind.
